We are Stronger Together
We are special parents too. Just like some of you, my husband Frankie and I have had our challenges in handling our second son who was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Dyslexia when he was 6 years old. He was also subsequently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at age 10.
We believe that building our marriage on mutual understanding and making effort in communicating honestly has helped us cope as special parents. Despite differences in opinions and parenting styles, we make time to talk through things often. We share our own feelings and struggles regarding the situation, while we work at improving things together. Being united as a couple and helping the family synergize together to meet each other’s needs helps us overcome the challenges and demands of special parenting.
Parents are indeed the best people to help create the environment for our special children to thrive. It’s important also for parents to find ways to connect with other parents who are going through a similar journey. The natural affinity borne through the familiarity of similar family struggles and experiences creates a positive identification that helps you feel less alone in your journey.
In special families, it often becomes necessary that one parent stays home to help manage the special needs child and the home. Many families have found that the financial sacrifices are small in comparison to having one parent more present to manage the home full time.
In our case, we are glad that we chose for me to be a stay-home mum to all our 3 children even before our second child’s special needs was diagnosed. This helped us attend to the issues and be the main caregivers from day one. Our children have also come to appreciate this and know that we prioritise them above our own careers.
Special parenting is a transformational journey for us as parents. We need to constantly learn, re-learn, strategise and be creative in problem solving. Flexibility and humility are also so important. When you think of it with a growth mindset, you can find the gems in the journey and appreciate the learning that it brings to the whole family.
About Dr Frankie Tan and Tina Tan
Frankie and Tina are parents of 3 boys. Their second son has ADHD, Dyslexia and ASD, and their youngest son is also currently struggling with severe anxiety issues. Tina is a stay-home mum while Frankie holds a Ph.D. in Sport Science & Physiology and works at the Singapore Sport Institute. Both are active volunteers with various community groups like SPARK, Schools, SAFRA, Dads for Life, and in their church. Being active volunteers have truly enriched their lives as they reach out and support other families in similar situations as them.
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Other Updates
The Purple Parade 2023: A Spectacular Showcase of Care and Inclusivity
The Purple Parade 2023, held on November 4th, was a heartwarming celebration of inclusion and support for individuals with special needs, their caregivers, and supporters.
Be Kind to Yourself; You Are Doing Your Best Every Day
You cannot pour from an empty cup; self-care is a necessary part of being an effective caregiver. It is perfectly okay to pamper yourself to something you’d like to do, prioritise rest and lean on others when you feel weary.
CaringSG Community Events from June to September 2023
Over the past 4 months, CaringSG has continued to run events focusing on a variety of topics such as art therapy, LPA, trishaw rides and a special treat to a local performance.
The events were kindly sponsored by the Enabling Lives Initiative (ELI) Grant (funded by Tote Board and managed by SG Enable) and Temasek Foundation.
Choose to Seek and Celebrate the Good – By Rachel Fong
Thank you caregivers for your resilience, for always choosing to seek and celebrate the good in the midst of everyday challenges.
While the Path is Less Travelled, You Never Have to Walk Alone – By CAREchampion Lead Tan Pei Cheng
Many caregivers have had our fair shares of emotional coaster rides. A simple act of joining a mother’s network group opened my eyes.
MindChamps Allied Care Group Pledges 20% of Net Profits to CaringSG: Empowering Communities through Philanthropy
In a significant step towards supporting special needs caregivers and their families, MindChamps Allied Care Group has announced it will donate 20% of the company’s net profits to CaringSG.
